


Our story was never a dream

by vendettadays



Category: Azumanga Daioh
Genre: Angst, Coming Out, Confessions, F/F, Future Fic, Non-Explicit Sex, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:48:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25837558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vendettadays/pseuds/vendettadays
Summary: There was a script to how their exchanges played out. After ten years of doing this, Sakaki and Kagura had come to a silent understanding on how it worked.They had defined the lines years ago and Sakaki had never pushed for anything beyond what Kagura was able to give. Until Kagura did and Sakaki dared to be hopeful.If Kagura could stray outside their agreed interactions, then Sakaki could too.
Relationships: Kagura/Sakaki (Azumanga Daioh)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	Our story was never a dream

**Author's Note:**

> Another one from the unfinished folder from 2014 that had been tentatively titled “Living in Egypt” ‘cause denial’s a river in Egypt - get it ;)
> 
> All bad puns aside, hope you enjoy and thank you!

‘Excuse me, Ms Sakaki?’

Sakaki looked up from her clipboard to see Aya, the receptionist for Ishihara Animal Hospital at the door to her office. ‘Yes?’

‘There’s someone in reception asking for you.’

She frowned slightly and placed her clipboard down on her desk. She had been with the clinic since she qualified, but as the junior veterinarian, people rarely asked for her directly. ‘Did they give a name?’

‘No, she wouldn’t say,’ said Aya, shrugging a slim shoulder. ‘Only said that she’d travelled half the world to see you and that if you didn’t come out soon she’s going to leave.’

Sakaki’s heart stuttered and she rose from her chair quickly, moving with hurried urgency into the reception area before Aya could even register that she had brushed past her. Her long legs propelled her into the waiting room, but she stopped abruptly, stunned at the sight of the woman sat on the sofa. Even tired and jet lagged, in an oversized hoody with the hood on and comfy gym leggings, Kagura took Sakaki’s breath away.

‘Sakaki!’ Kagura’s eyes lit when she noticed Sakaki’s still figure by the door.

Kagura grinned widely like no time had passed at all. It was like there hadn’t been months since Sakaki had watched Kagura’s back, as she walked out of her bedroom door. Her last message from Kagura was a week ago on New Year’s day. Sakaki hadn’t been able to do anything to calm the erratic beats of her heart in her chest then and she certainly couldn’t do anything about it now, not after seeing Kagura’s toothy smile for the first time in over eight months.

‘You said you weren’t going to be back in Japan until March?’ Sakaki sounded so calm to her owns ears, each word measured and soft, when all she wanted was to cross the bare few metres between them and wrap her arms around this madly grinning, tanned-skin woman. But she restrained herself for Kagura’s sake.

‘It was kind of a there-and-then decision to fly back.’

Kagura shrugged her shoulder and rubbed the back of her neck, eyes downcast and focused on something interesting on the beige-coloured linoleum floor. It was a tic as familiar to Sakaki as the lines on her hand and she waited patiently for Kagura to continue, hoped that Kagura would continue.

Whatever nervousness Kagura had felt disappeared and she stood up, dropped her duffel coat onto the sofa and closed the gap between them. The few metres shrank to a few inches until Sakaki felt the slow, shaky exhale of Kagura’s breath against her lips.

Then it was gone.

As quick as it had happened Kagura stepped back, gaze to the floor as the courage dissipated from her like fog burning off in the morning sun. Sakaki swallowed hard at the sudden lump in her throat and blinked at the sting behind her eyes, tears replacing the hope that had welled up in her.

‘I thought we could go out for dinner and catch up when you finish work?’ Kagura spoke quietly to her feet, but at the last minute she looked up, a shy smile on her lips. ‘So we can talk?’

It wasn’t the cocky smirk Sakaki had seen more time than she could count. It wasn’t the smile that lifted the corner of Kagura’s mouth or the cheesy grin that crinkled the edges of her eyes. It was a small, tentative tilt of her lips. A little insecure, but a lot hopeful that Kagura reserved only for her. It was a shot straight to where Sakaki was weakest and she couldn’t deny herself this. She gathered her nerves and steeled herself and nodded quickly. Her cheeks grew warm at her enthusiasm and at the chance to spend more time with Kagura. Only five minutes had passed and already her emotions swung like a pendulum, as it often did where Kagura was concerned.

‘Great!’ There it was again, that smile that sent Sakaki’s heart racing.

‘I still have half an hour left on my shift before I can close up. Do you mind waiting?’ Please wait, thought Sakaki. She wanted to leave now for fear that Kagura would disappear as suddenly as she had reappeared in her life.

They had a script to how their exchanges played out. After ten years of doing _this_ , they had come to a silent understanding on how it worked. Whenever Kagura was back in Tokyo, they could spend all the time they wanted together during the day. Kagura would smile freely and Sakaki would bask in her company. They could be close but not too close.

But in the dead of night behind closed doors, hidden between the sheets and from the world, never more than a few hours were allowed. They came together with secret touches and caresses with breathy sighs that filled the air. It never lasted and always ended with Sakaki watching Kagura gather her clothes, an apologetic gaze as she dressed before she left. With every silent parting, Sakaki felt her heart break further and further until it left her gasping. She had thought time would make it easier, but the pain hadn’t lessened over the years.

Sakaki smiled shakily as she waited for Kagura to reply. Her time with Kagura was limited. Every minute precious, but never ever enough.

‘Ah! Ms Ayase! It’s so nice to see you again.’

Sakaki turned to see Dr Ishihara, her boss and the senior veterinarian of the practice poke his head through the door behind the reception counter area. Dr Ishihara leaned against the counter as Kagura put her hood down and bowed in greeting.

‘It’s good to see you too, Doctor!’

‘Your performance at the Olympics last summer was phenomenal. It’s so good to see Japan represented by such strong talent.’

‘No, no, the credit goes to my coach. I wouldn’t have been ready without her firm encouragement.’ Kagura laughed charmingly and thanked him for his continued support.

Sakaki pursed her lips at the mention of Kagura’s coach. Asuka Ishida was Japan’s most accomplished swimmer and twelve-time Olympic gold medalist. Retired or not, Asuka was beautiful. Sakaki stamped down on the jealously that erupted unbidden in her stomach. The memory of seeing Asuka sweep Kagura straight out of the pool and into a tight hug flooded her mind. It hadn’t been the hug, but the act of being able to hug Kagura on camera, broadcasted to millions of people around the world that had Sakaki frowning at her TV. All Sakaki could do as she had watched Kagura win gold was send a text from Japan, thousands of miles away from where she wanted to be.

‘Don’t worry about closing up tonight, just go out and enjoy your time together.’ Dr Ishihara turned to Sakaki with a bright smile. ‘I’m sure you and Ms Ayase have a lot to catch up on.’

To Sakaki’s horror, Dr Ishihara gave her a slow, dramatic wink and her face burned like a furnace. Despite her embarrassment, Sakaki thanked him and bowed before hurrying into her office. She shrugged out of her lab coat and changed out of her scrubs, dressing quickly into her jeans and maroon sweater. She hastily brushed her fingers through her long hair and once satisfied, she grabbed her grey, wool coat and satchel.

To her relief, Kagura was still waiting for her. Kagura had her blue duffel coat on, holdall slung on her shoulder as she checked her phone.

‘Is everything okay?’ asked Sakaki at seeing a sliver of anxiety in Kagura’s frown.

‘Everything’s fine, just my PRagent.’ Kagura attempted a light smile, but there was a tightness to her expression that she couldn’t hide from Sakaki. She shoved her phone into her pocket roughly and nodded at the door. ‘Ready?’

Sakaki pursed her lips, but didn’t push for more, afraid of spooking Kagura. Despite the misgivings that took root at the pit of her stomach, Sakaki ignored the feeling and turned to wave goodbye to Dr Ishihara who waved exuberantly back as they left the clinic.

Warmth returned to Sakaki’s face, her deep flush made all the more evident as the evening winter chill hit her cheeks. Sakaki was never sure whether Dr Ishihara knew about her relationship with Kagura. He probably thought they were close friends with the almost daily visits Kagura made to the clinic during her sporadic trips back to Japan. Though, his wink seemed to suggest otherwise.

Kagura rushed forward and threw her arms up in the air, both hands bunched up into fists as she stretched. Sakaki smiled to herself at seeing the familiar habit. It reminded her of all the times Kagura had done the exact same thing back in high school. Ten years since they had graduated and Kagura acted no differently. It didn’t matter that she was an internationally renowned competitive swimmer whose face was plastered on more screens and adverts than Sakaki could count. Kagura was still the same person who had walked her home every day in high school. 

‘Do you want to eat Thai?’ asked Kagura from over her shoulder. ‘I’ve been craving pad thai for ages.’

Sakaki’s stomach rumbled loudly. Kagura laughed, eyes sparkling. ‘It’s decided. Come on, I know you, you probably haven’t eaten since lunch and didn’t even have time to stop for a snack.’

With a moment’s hesitation, Kagura grabbed Sakaki’s hand and dragged her down the street. Sakaki’s pulsed jumped at the warm hand enveloping hers. She went to pull her hand away, but Kagura only tightened her grip.

Sakaki looked at her, confused at the sudden divergence of their script, but Kagura just looked back, eyes soft and gentle. She did loosen her hold, but Sakaki held on, unwilling to let go of the feeling of rightness that filled with her with their fingers intertwined together. The boldness of the gesture, hand in hand, filled Sakaki with hesitant hope. The exact nature of their relationship or whatever this thing was had stayed grey and never coloured into anything more. They had defined the lines years ago and Sakaki had never pushed for anything beyond what Kagura was able to give. Holding hands in public, even hidden between the folds of their coats and by the bulk of their bags, was so far outside of those lines that Sakaki trembled at their daring.

‘Hey, you’re shivering.’ Kagura stopped and Sakaki almost collided into her back.

In her rush Sakaki had forgotten all about her scarf, left hanging on her coat rack and not wrapped her neck. ‘I’ll be fine. We’re not far from the restaurant.’

‘Jeez, Sakaki. You’re gonna get sick if you don’t cover your neck.’

Kagura didn’t let go of Sakaki and awkwardly rummaged through her holdall with one hand. From the depths of her bag, she fished out a long, hand-knitted green scarf and looped it over Sakaki’s head before she could protest. Kagura moved close and wrapped the length of the scarf carefully around Sakaki’s neck, fluffed it up so that it covered her chin and tucked it into her coat. She fixed Sakaki’s coat lapels, hand smoothing over the material so that not an inch of skin was touched by the cold.

‘There.’ With a final pat and nod, Kagura gently tugged Sakaki to continue walking.

Sakaki had been shivering before, but now her body shook from the tenseness in her muscles, from the restraint she had to exercise in order to stop herself from tilting her head and capturing Kagura’s lip in a kiss.

They walked to the restaurant in silence, accompanied by the sound of their shoes scrapping the pavement. They arrived at the restaurant all too quickly and Sakaki let go of Kagura at the sight of people outside the restaurant. The air in her lungs left in a whoosh and she was left breathless at the ache in her chest, bereft from the sudden loss of contact.

They went inside, undeterred by how busy the little restaurant was. It was always teeming with customers at this time on a Friday night.

‘For two, please.’ Kagura held up two fingers to the waiter. She stepped backwards and out of the way as a group squeezed past her leave, and went straight into Sakaki’s front. The entry way cosy and made for no more than two.

Sakaki’s hands fumbled for Kagura’s waist, stopping her from pressing any further back. Her heart beat loudly in her ears, drowning out the chatter of the restaurant as heat rushed to pool low in her body. She released a shuddering breath when Kagura finally moved, but the damage was done and her skin burned.

They followed the waiter who seated them at their table. Sakaki took off her coat and unwound Kagura’s scarf, tugging at her heated collar. She carefully folded the scarf and placed it on the back of her chair with her coat. Sakaki turned down the offered menu, knowing Kagura would order pad thai and red curry. They always got the same dishes every time and ordered to share.

‘And I can’t forget, a green papaya salad, please.’ Kagura closed the menu and gave it back to the waiter. ‘That’s all, thanks!’

It never failed to make Sakaki happy when Kagura remembered the food she liked. ‘Thank you.’

Kagura grinned and leaned on the table, propping her chin onto her hand. ’So tell me, what have I missed?’

‘Well, since you were last—’ _home_ ‘back in Japan, Chiyo’s been made a permanent professor at the university, Yomi and Tomo have moved in together, and Osaka… I’m not actually too sure about Osaka.’

‘And you?’

Sakaki shrugged; she had never been good at talking about herself. Where would she start anyway? That she had not gone a day where Kagura didn’t fill her thoughts in some way? That Sakaki religiously checked Kagura’s official instagram for updates or that she constantly checked her phone to see if she had any texts?

She would much rather listen to Kagura as she talked about the places she had been and the things she had got up to. When their time together was so short, all she wanted to hear was Kagura’s voice. She had learned over time to spot the signs when Kagura would leave soon.

‘I’ve been fine. Work has been keeping me busy.’

A tender smile played at the corner of Kagura’s lips. ‘You always do that.’

Sakaki frowned. ’Do what?’

The waiter came back before Kagura could answer. Sakaki’s mouth watered and her stomach rumbled again as their food was placed down. Kagura picked up her chopsticks, gave her thanks for the food and started piling rice onto Sakaki’s plate, spooning the red curry next to the rice, just how Sakaki liked it. Kagura took her time with sharing the food out, and Sakaki found herself unusually impatient to hear her reply.

‘You never talk about yourself,’ answered Kagura finally.

Because there really wasn’t much to talk about. Sakaki bit the inside of her cheek and dared to be truthful. If Kagura could stray outside their agreed interactions by holding hands, then Sakaki could too. ‘I prefer to hear your voice instead.’

Kagura’s eyes widened, mouth parting slightly in surprise.

Sakaki ducked her head and focused on the grains of rice. God, it felt good to provoke a reaction in Kagura. It quietened the doubt that lingered at the back of Sakaki’s mind. Moments like these gave her hope that maybe what she felt wasn’t one-sided.

‘Come on, do not disturb her. She’s having dinner with a friend.’

Sakaki tried to ignore the hushed conversation between a man and woman at the table next to theirs. Kagura looked sheepish and mouthed a silent “sorry” to Sakaki from across the table. She shrugged and smiled back as reassuringly as possible. Kagura was well-known across Japan and Sakaki was the last person in the world who wouldbegrudge her for her success.

‘Excuse me? I’m really sorry, but are you Kagura Ayase?’

Kagura turned to face the man who had approached their table. ‘Yes, I am.’

‘I am a huge fan! I just wanted to say that you are incredible.’ The man held out his phone in two hands. ‘Would it be alright if I got a photo with you?’

‘Yeah, sure!’ Kagura took a selfie with the man who thanked her so profusely that Sakaki thought he would combust with happiness. He thanked her again and almost skipped back to his table.

‘I’m sorry about that.’ Kagura pushed the noodles on her plate back and forth. ‘I wanted to have dinner with you, but it seems like we can’t have that without being disturbed.’

Sakaki placed her hand on the table. Her hand itched to cross the expanse of the white table cloth, to touch her and offer comfort. She caught the sight of the man at the next table, phone still in hand and watching Kagura. Sakaki withdrew her hand to rest in her lap and gripped her thigh tightly. ‘It’s fine. It’s good enough to spend time with you.’

Kagura’s blinked, eyes widening and Sakaki thought it had been what she’d said. But Kagura’s gaze was on something over Sakaki’s shoulder. She turned and saw two woman sat at the table behind them, their hands holding each others’, thumbs rubbing circles as they chatted quietly. The woman facing Sakaki was smiling, fingers twirling her hair shyly. She looked so damn happy.

Sakaki bit her lip at the longing that lodged itself firmly in her throat. She tore her gaze away and turned back to Kagura. There was something strange in Kagura’s eyes, a mixture of dejection and determination that Sakaki wasn’t sure what to make of.

Kagura fiddled with her napkin, folding it over and smoothing it out. ‘There’s something I need to tell you.’

Sakaki’s heart stopped and dread trickled down her spine as her mind thought the worse. This was it, the day Kagura finally decided that this was too much. That their time together had come to an end. Sakaki dug her nails into the palm of her hand. She could do this. She would respect Kagura’s wishes. Sakaki would do anything to keep Kagura in her life, even if it was just as friends.

‘It’s okay,’ Sakaki smiled at Kagura, willed her lips to move without the tremble she felt in her jaw. ‘Tell me after tonight.’

Please just let me have tonight, Sakaki begged in her head.

If this was the last time she would ever have Kagura like this, she was going to make sure she remembered every single moment of it.

***

Sakaki hurried up the stairs to her apartment, pulling Kagura along as the urgency in her blood hit a fever-pitch. Her hand shook each time she tried to fit her key into the lock, missing the first time, the second and third and fourth time. The key slotted in finally, but she couldn’t turn it right. The security code would have done the trick, but with Kagura’s front pressed firmly against her back, hot breaths against her bare neck as she nuzzled the skin behind Sakaki’s ear, the last thing Sakaki could remember was the six-digit code.

She almost dropped her keys at the warm hand that slid under her sweater, fingers ran teasingly along the edge of her jeans. With her free hand Kagura took the key and slotted it into the lock. Sakaki gasped at the softness of Kagura’s lips on her neck as the key turned. She pulled Kagura by the front of her coat into the apartment, lips pressing hard against Kagura’s as the door clicked closed.

The automatic lock whirred and the thump of Kagura’s holdall being dumped on the floor intruded on Sakaki’s senses, but all she could focus on was the loud groan that erupted from Kagura’s throat.

‘Fuck,’ gasped Kagura. ‘I missed you.’

They shed their clothes as they moved further into Sakaki’s apartment. Their shoes, Sakaki’s coat, followed by her sweater, her bra. Kagura’s leggings were kicked off before they even made it down the hall.Sakaki pushed Kagura against the wall, hands pushing her hoody and t-shirt out the way, impatient and eager to wrap her lips around Kagura’s pert nipples. Sakaki lavished them with attention, encouraged by the moans and gasps she drew.

With hoody and t-shirt off, Kagura pulled Sakaki up, bringing their mouths together again and bit down hard on her bottom lip. A moan vibrated through Sakaki, catching herself by surprise, but Kagura seemed to like it by the way her breath hitched in her throat. They blindly moved in the direction of the bedroom.

Sakaki fell back against her bed, jeans at her ankles. Kagura stood over her, topless and only in her knickers, hair deliciously mussed from Sakaki’s tugging on the short strands. Kagura shifted onto the bed and leaned over Sakaki, pressing opened-mouth kisses down her neck, nipping and teasing her breasts until she was a quivering mess. Every almost-there touch of Kagura’s fingers, running down her sides, blunt nails scratching against her skin sent liquid heat pooling between her legs.

Kagura stopped at the edge of Sakaki’s underwear, fingertips playing at the waistband, stretching playfully. God, Kagura’s eyes had never looked so dark.

‘I need you.’ It was all Kagura needed to hear.

Kagura pulled Sakaki’s underwear off and pushed her knees apart until Sakaki felt bare and revealed and completely vulnerable. The first touch of Kagura’s hot mouth on the inside of Sakaki’s thigh pulled a heavy moan from her chest that turned into another, and another until all that filled her head was the sound of her voice, loud and husky, quiet and breathy.

A tempest raged inside Sakaki, growing stronger with each lick and stroke, swirling in intensity when the only thing that kept her grounded was Kagura’s hard grip on her plump thighs. Sakaki blinked the tears that gathered at the corner of her eyes, too overwhelmed to be embarrassed at how she looked anymore or the high, keening quality of her voice as her hips chased every movement of Kagura’s mouth and tongue.

Sakaki’s fingers threaded through Kagura’s hair, clutching tight enough that Kagura whimpered, but it only made her mouth move faster and faster until Sakaki’s vision blurred in all the right ways, back arching off the bed like a bow. Her other hand sought desperately for something to hold onto.

Kagura grabbed her free hand, twined their fingers together, and Sakaki allowed herself to finally let go.

***

Sakaki shook her head a few times, warding off sleep as best she could when all she wanted was to close her eyes and sink into the warmth around her. She shifted and groaned lightly. Her body ached in all the best places, her normally tensed muscles loose and limber. The franticness of their coupling intensified by months of absence had cooled into a simmer of languid touches, soft kisses and gentle exploration as the night wore on. Sakaki cherished every single moment they were together.

‘Your face was so red earlier,’ said Kagura into Sakaki’s hair.

Sakaki blinked hard to clear the haze as she tried to remember which moment Kagura was referring to. She was always blushing where Kagura was concerned. The last few hours were no exception.

‘When we were waiting to be seated.’ 

Sakaki wanted to look up, but fear kept her where she was and she clung tighter to Kagura’s waist. Kagura was unusually talkative. They didn’t cuddle or talk after sex. Normally, Kagura would have been dressed and out the door by now, leaving only the lingering scent of her shampoo to reassure Sakaki that their nights together had actually happened.

‘You did that on purpose,’ grumbled Sakaki. Her lips grazed Kagura’s collarbone, eliciting a shaky sigh and for a moment, Sakaki tried not to think about how their story was nearing its end.

It didn’t matter how long Sakaki spent rediscovering the sensitive spots that left Kagura boneless and pliant or learned the changes in the months Kagura had been away, it was never enough for her. She buried her face into the space between Kagura’s neck, seeking comfort as she tried to forget about the things that would happen next. But the conversation Sakaki had stopped Kagura from starting earlier intruded into her mind, piercing the moment like a needle to a balloon.

‘I can’t breathe.’

Sakaki loosened her arms, but didn’t let go. She kept her face hidden, eyes burning behind her closed eyelids as she breathed deeply, trying to commit the warmth and scent of Kagura’s skin to memory.

‘Sakaki? Please look at me.’

She didn’t want to. Opening her eyes would make it real and she wasn’t ready for it to become real. Sakaki felt Kagura’s hand cup her face, coaxing her head up with fluttering kisses against her eyelids.

When she did open her eyes, Sakaki wanted to slam them shut again at the softness and concern in Kagura’s eyes, framed by a frown on her brows and pursed lips.

‘Hey.’ That single word felt like a loaded gun. Kagura smiled uncertainly, the tip of a finger circling Sakaki’s hip bone. ‘About what I wanted to tell you earlier—’

‘It’s okay, Kagura,’ interrupted Sakai. She couldn’t do this. She thought she could be strong enough to hear it from Kagura’s lips. She wasn’t and she didn’t want to hear it. So she said it for Kagura instead. Hearing it from herself was better than hearing it from Kagura. ‘We were never meant to last. You need to put your career first and I understand that. We can be friends. It will…’ Sakaki swallowed the sob that rose. ‘It will be enough for me.’

‘What are you talking about, Sakaki?’ The frown between Kagura’s brows was so deep that Sakaki wanted to reach up and smooth the furrowed skin.

‘If you want to end this, I’ll respect your decision. I won’t stop you from leaving.’

Sakaki curled into herself, drawing her legs to her chest as she clenched her eyes closed. She had imagined the pain to hit her like how a meteorite would hit the earth, but hadn’t expected it to feel like hands choking her.

She expected the bed to shift, for the side Kagura preferred to dip as she sat at the edge before getting up. She expected for Kagura to dress, pulling on each piece of clothing from off the bedroom floor and the hallway, until she reached the entryway where her shoes were. She expected to hear the door opening and closing.

Sakaki expected all of this to the epilogue of their script.

Sakaki hadn’t expected Kagura to bundle her into a bruising embrace.

Sakaki’s eyes shot open and she stared in disbelief at Kagura.

Kagura’s brown eyes shimmered in the dimness of the room, desperate in a way that Sakaki had never seen before. ‘No, I’m not leaving. I—‘ Kagura took a deep, shaking breath, but instead of her gaze skittering away from Sakaki’s as it often did when _this_ was brought up, Kagura looked straight into Sakaki’s eyes. ‘I don’t want to leave to you. Not this time. Not ever again.’

Sakaki’s heart seized at hearing the words. ’What?’

‘I don’t want to hide anymore, I don’t want to hide… How much you mean to me. I don’t want to just walk down the street with you. I want to walk down the street _holding_ your hand. I feel like I’ve been sleepwalking through my life these past ten years, when I could have been awake and _living_ every single moment with you.’

‘What about the sponsors? Your career?’ The hope in Sakaki’s heart came to life, rekindled by Kagura’s declaration but tempered as her mind caught up with her. Reality threatened to crash down on Sakaki at what it all could mean. 

Kagura shook her head. Her smile was tremulous and Sakaki was struck with a realisation that this was Kagura accepting herself for the first time.

‘I’ll get new sponsors and I’m not going to stop swimming. It’s not like they can stop me if they want more medals.’ Kagura shrugged, worrying her bottom lip. ‘I did an interview before I flew back. It will be published tomorrow, well, technically today and everyone will know.’ Kagura stopped, voice catching her throat. ‘I’m so sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you. I’ve had so much time to think that if I was only braver, less scared—‘

Sakaki pressed her lips against Kagura’s urgently. Hot tears streamed down Sakaki’s face as she poured reassurances into the kiss and tried to soothe Kagura’s insecurities. Her hands shook as they cradled Kagura’s face. ‘You _are_ brave. It doesn’t matter if you came out ten years ago or today, you are _brave_.’

Kagura slumped forward, forehead resting against Sakaki’s as she exhaled.

‘I’ll support you if you think it’s too much to be with me or if you need time to… What?’ Kagura stopped, frowning at Sakaki who couldn’t help the watery laughter that bubbled in her chest.

‘You really are a numbskull.’

Kagura’s mouth fell open, affronted at the reminder of one of her high school nicknames. ‘Sakaki! I’m pouring my heart out and—‘

‘I love you,’ whispered Sakaki into the stillness of the room. ‘Do you remember when you visited me in my first year of university? When you found out that I was spending New Year’s alone?’ Kagura nodded slowly and all Sakaki could do was smile back as the memory rose from the depths of her mind. ‘I’ve loved you since then and I haven’t stopped.’

It was as clear as yesterday, a memory Sakaki held tightly on her bad days and the good days. Kagura had got the next train back to Tokyo and had appeared outside of Sakaki’s dorm with the cheesiest grin and a box of squashed mochi from the train station. Kagura had stayed over and they slept, side by side for the first time. It had been the catalyst for things to come. And that night, Sakaki had dreamt so deeply that waking up the next morning had been as jarring as the realisation that had surfaced from her fading dream. 

Kagura stared, wide eyed and speechless as she processed Sakaki’s words before she said in a rush, ’Second year of high school, I had a crush on you so badly that I all I wanted to do was spend time with you. I walked you home after school every single day for two years, even though I lived the opposite way.’

Kagura laughed, cheeks darkening in a blush that Sakaki so rarely saw. Butterflies filled Sakaki’s stomach as she waited patiently for Kagura to gather her courage. Sakaki had waited ten years, what was another ten seconds or ten minutes? She replayed that new year’s dream for the thousandth time. The two of them would be lying in bed, legs tangled together, and heads close in whispered conversation. Nerves would settle in as Sakaki waited to hear those words in reply to her own, only to wake up before they were said out loud.

It was a lot like they were now. But instead of waking up like Sakaki did then, Kagura brushed a piece of hair from out of Sakaki’s eyes and said them back, ’I love you too.’


End file.
